I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
