either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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