i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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