My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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