I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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