just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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