Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
