I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
