I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
