At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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