thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
