God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
