I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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