I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
