is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
