Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
