I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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