Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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