Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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