I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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