why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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