Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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