Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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