i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
