508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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