I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
