im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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