There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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