Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
