Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
