I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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