Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
