she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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