You smell like a Billy Joel song
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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