what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
