someone get that fucking seahorse.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize