We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
