whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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