I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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