there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
