ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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