The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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