i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
BRING THE BAGELS
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
