Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize