is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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