Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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