Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
