know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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