That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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