So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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