WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
