Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
