im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
