Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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