I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize