I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there is glitter all over my balls
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