the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
