I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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