My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
