For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
